I tend to fight with people

I have noticed a strange pattern. Everyone is wrong but me. This is true- it happens a lot.

This past trip to Israel had me come face-to-face with 3 people from my past who I am not/ was not on speaking terms with:


1) My sister-in-law
2) My cousin Tal
3)My aunt's ex husband, who I loved like an older brother since I was a toddler



My sister-in-law M

So most of you who follow my blog know:I was not on speaking terms with her since she and her husband came to visit us in NY. I gave birth to twins (after IVF) and she did not call to congratulate me. Neither did we hear from her when the girls were in the NICU.

Then at the end of April, we found out that she had given birth to twins as well. Shocking! This was crazy since they were natural. Now suddenly, we have two sets of twins in my husband's family! Of course, everyone now thinks that twins run in our family (little do people know that having twins has nothing to do with the father- it has to do with how many eggs a woman releases). So knowing that I was going to see her in less than a month, made me put my pride aside and call to congratulate her. I mean Jeez, we both just had twins! So I called, and it wasn't so awkward. I am a pro at acting like nothing is wrong. She acted the same.



So when I saw her in Israel, she hugged me and we spoke. The truth is, I really like her. I know she had a moment of insanity. But the problem is, my husband's aunt had told me that my sis-in-law told her that I was not a good hostess, and that she expected more from her trip. She bad mouthed me!



Umm... let's backtrack my friend.



My husband's brother had called us ONE WEEK prior to their arrival and said that they found cheap tickets to come to NY and if they could come stay by us. Mind you, I was going through IVF at that point! I couldn't do anything for them. I could not go out with them, I could not cook for them, or entertain them. My husband was in school and working. We had told them that we couldn't do much of anything for them bec the timing was bad, but they said that they would be fine and travel together. OK then.

So why did you expect more? I was bed -ridden for most of their stay, and had to call on my husband to help me get up most of the time. Are you for real LADY? I'm sorry I couldn't accompany you and your family to Lancaster County to visit the Amish- as I was rushed to the ER that day after my egg retrieval caused me to have crazy stomach pains.



Moving on, I had told my husband's aunt my side of the story and it dawned on her that my sis-in-law is crazy.



But again, putting that aside, we spoke a lot about our pregnancies, twins ect. I mean, now we're even more bonded than we would like to be.



SO I did sit down with her and the twins:

How awesome is this picture? My twins and their twin cousins:

I do not miss this age of non-stop crying:

My sis-in-law's 6 year old son (older bro of the twins):
S & Soleil
My husband's dad with 3 of his grandchildren (it seems as if Soleil has spit up): It was nice to not hold anger in my heart.
End Scene.

My cousin Tal.

Oy- how much he meant to me. Of course, that's in the past. He is my shared cousin with my husband. He was my best friend, as well as my husband's. Tal was not cool with the union btwn me and the hubbster. We would all hang out and spend time together, but he seemed to always have a chip on his shoulder. Now instead of him telling us how he felt, he was INSANELY passive aggressive towards ME. Why me you ask? I have no idea. It was like I was the reason he was no longer super close to my husband. Tal would never say anything mean outright to me in front of my husband, but he did when we were alone. So when I would tell my husband about how Tal spoke to me, he would say he didn't want to get involved since that was my relationship with him, not his. I totally agreed- I mean , it was his cousin as well.

He started acting like sh*t the night of our joint bachelor/bachlorette party. Yes we had a joint party on B's roof/penthouse apt.

I was in Tel-Aviv with my cousin B getting ready to go out to the bar. Tal was driving my husband and Tal's gfriend to B's apt (about 45 min away) so that we could all meet up for the party. My husband had to use the gas station restroom for a moment (I know, gross)

Britney Spears seems to enjoy the bathroom potty

- and when he returned to the car, he had realized that Tal and his new gf of 3 months had just had a HUGE fight. Once Tal got to B's house, he took my husband aside and said that he wasn't going to join the festivities and was going home with his gf. My husband was shocked. I mean this was not only his best friend, but his cousin! Not only was he not going to join us, he was stranding us an hour away from home, with no car. And taking public transportation is out of the question in Israel at 3am. My husband started to realize what a jerk Tal had become.

The day of our wedding, he was supposed to be our driver. In Israel, people don't rent limos for their weddings. They get a shiny car, cover it in ribbons and a friend or family member drives the bride and groom around that whole day.

example of an Israeli wedding car:

He was supposed to be our driver, but after stranding us the night of our party, we figured we would look into someone more reliable. My cousin Yosi (B's bro) was our driver- and he totally rocks.

Yosi being awesome:

Anyway, the night of our wedding, Tal came by to our bridal/groom suite to have a glass of champagne with the bridal party (this included my cousin B, her hubby, my bro and yosi- not an actual bridal party- just people who hung out). He looked like he had a chip on his shoulder.

It's funny- I truly feel like if we had that part in the reception where they ask anyone to object- he so would. He would say "It's weird for me that you guys are getting married. Don't" But he didn't say that. He did show it through action when I found him having 0 s#e#x with his gf on my veil in my bridal suite. Yes- I caught him mid- action...

My cousin B was with me. I was taken aback.

While he and his gf were getting dressed, I ran to get my husband from the party to tell him what was going down. He asked my cousin (our cousin) what he was thinking. My cousin replied "So we got drunk and had a little fun, what's wrong with that?"

What's wrong with that is that you should not have done it in my suite especially not on my veil dude.

Then Tal proceeded to tell his gf to get their stuff because they were leaving, I looked at his gf of 3 months (aww, true love) and said "Yes- leave"

Apparently this did not sit well with my cousin, so he called me a bitch and lunged at me fist first. Yes- my wedding turned into something out of Jerry Springer.

My husband saw this, grabbed Tal and proceeded to want to beat him down, when B's hubby and Yosi got btwn them. Tal left and we never heard from him again. No apologies.

Fast forward 3 years:

One day this past month I was taking the girls for a stroll in my husband's community. I was going to take the girls to visit their great-grandfather (my husband's grandfather- who happens to be Tal's grandfather as well). I ran into Tal's 15 yo brother and we started talking. Then Tal's 23 year old sis Shirley came home (she had just arrived from Ireland where she now lives). We were all talking in the driveway, when a car pulled up and HE emerged with his skanky ass gf.

There was no where I could run- he was coming toward us. I am sure he didn't think I would be there.

I was about to make a U-Turn with my stroller to leave, but Shirley grabbed me and said not to - to just put it in the past. She grabbed the stroller and wouldn't let me leave. He came towards the stroller, bent down to the girls and just stared.

Conversation:

Awkward Pause

Me: "You can say hi"

Him: "Hi. So a boy and a girl. Actually 2 girls. Neve and what?"

Me: "Soleil"

Him: "Oh."

End Scene

That was it. After 3 years.

I told my husband about the interaction and he said he would not have stayed for one second or had any interaction with him. I had to say something to him since I have been dreaming of my grandmother lately and in my dreams its me, her and Tal- as if she wants us to make up. I wont make up with him but I can be civil.

My Ex-uncle O

Wow where do I begin?

My mother's younger sister dated her now ex husband since she was 18. I was 1 at the time. They married when I was 6.

I loved him like an older brother. He was born in Israel but was raised In Denmark. He spoke English to my brother and I every time we were in Israel. He would play with us, take us to movies and make us laugh non-stop. I admired him, I loved him like a brother.

He and my aunt divorced when I was 18, but I didn't want that to mean that our relationship was done. Their divorce was very civil and they have two children. So when I was on vacation there when I was 19, we went out to dinner. It was cool- he was cool. We hung out at his apt and he made drinks. OK I know it sounds weird for a 19 year old girl to hang out with a 36 year old man, but he was like a brother to me.

OK, so apparently he got drunk and decided "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if I hit on my ex-niece"? which is what he did by the way.

He stuck his tongue in my ear. Just the thought to of it sends me into convulsions people. I pulled away mortified. He realized what he had done and quickly said he did that as a joke.

Umm, 'pull my finger ' is a joke, not sticking your wet nasty ex-uncle tongue in my 19 year old ear perv.

A mother licking her calf's ear- not what he did:

So that was it- another relationship bites the dust.

I did see him many times after the fact. The first time I saw him post ear scandal 2001, he took me aside (while my hawk of a husband watched from afar) and said he was drunk and never meant to do anything like that to me. That he viewed me as a sister and wanted our relationship to be OK. No way Jo'se.

I never told my aunt (his ex) of what happened, because lets face it- they have two children together and she would be weirded out by it. I told my mother, and she said "Well, you shouldn't have been in his apt in the first place". Thanks mom. That's like saying to a woman who was sexually abused, "you shouldn't have worn that short skirt honey, you were asking for it"

I had to invite him to my wedding (bec it would have been suspicious otherwise) but he declined. He told my brother (who he is still close with- thanks bro) that he didn't attend my wedding because I was a bit*ch to him the last time he saw me. Umm yeah bud, you shouldn't have tried to get with me.

I did see him last week at his daughter's 14th bday party. He hardly addressed me, but when he did he didn't look me in the eye. He saw my daughters and said "Who would have thought that you would have twins"?

That was it. He also tried to be cool with my hubby and asked him if he wanted some coffee.

So after writing this all out- I realize that I am super awesome. People burn me and I remain civil. This is new for me since I am one who holds a deep grudge inside for years. I think going through so much with the girls early on really taught me to put things in perspective.

Have any of you ever held a grudge for someone who burned you? If so have you let it go since and if you have- what made you let go?