29w2d

Another stressful day.

I woke up feeling horrible- my rib cage aches. My whole body aches. I sleep on and off during the night because I am so uncomfortable.

I was so cranky and feeling yucky after my afternoon nap.. and guess who shows up at my door? My mother and her best friend. The woman never calls before coming.... that's OK I guess, as long as she's alone. The lights were off and my mother pulls up the shade. I think she expected me to be talkative and smiley, but I wasn't. I just needed to be alone- and where does she get the nerve to just drop by with people without informing or giving me some sort of warning?

So I lay down and didn't say much and she just stood there hovering over me not saying a word- her friend sitting in a chair. Her friend realized right away that I wasn't feeling well but my mother just stood there in silence, as if I had embarrassed her by not being talkative and charming in front of company.

When I asked my mother why she wasn't sitting, she said "I was waiting for you to offer"

I said, "well would you like me to cut you some cake as well?"- this was sarcasm.

She sat down for a few minutes not saying a word...then they left.

I am so tired of her. When will she learn? She expects me to be "On" all the time? Well, I cant be. I just cant- especially when I'm not feeling well. She cold have just picked up the phone to warn me, but didn't.

Its hard to not get along with my mother. I mean, as I lay here worrying about my unborn children, I can just imagine the bond that I will have with them. I will only want the best for them and never berate them.... Then I think of my mother and how we will just never get along. Her actions amaze me sometimes- and so do the words she spews from her mouth. I have been through so much with her that letting things slide sometimes just doesn't cut it. I worry that my children will feel the same way about me, but I think that I have learnt what NOT to do because of her.

Anyway, shortly thereafter my husband arrived and then I was hooked up to the Doppler. I had three large contractions in 40 minutes. A doctor from my practice came by (Dr. Oprah as I will now call him) and he decided that my meds should be doubled from now on. He said that if I were to have one or two more in the course of an hour, I would have to get a tribuline injection, and if that didn't stop it, they would move me back to triage. No... not triage. I am comfortable in my private room.. I cant be taken downstairs again! Thank GD I didnt have more than 3, so now its just a waiting game.
With every contraction, I freak out. I am so stressed out... my husband remains calm constantly and says that whatever will be will be. I know I need him to be strong, but his calm demeanour freaks me out even more so.

I hope and pray these girls stay in for a few more weeks.

Please send your love to stacie from here storkey storkey- she had her boys last week at 28w3days and although they are doing well, their nicu experience has just begun...