My thunder is gone

My sister-in-law, the one I haven't spoken to in a year, gave birth last night.


TWINS!

WHAT?!!?

They didn't tell anyone!
It was natural!
They had a boy and a girl!
She had them at 38.5 weeks!

I know I should be happy, but feel somewhat defeated. I'm a bad person, I know.

I just kind of feel like....it took me ivf to get pregnant, I had twins, who were early and had to stay in the NICU.....

And they just happened to get pregnant, had a long and healthy pregnancy and had one of each.

Sore loser I am.


I guess it just pissed me off when my brother-in-law said "She had them at 38.5 weeks, but could have went longer- but the doctors didnt think it was a good idea"- as if he was somewhat implying something about me not being able to hold my girls in (of course, I could totally be making this up in my head)
I guess I feel like they "stole my thunder" because after all I have been through, twins are a blessing (and not common, or so I thought) and when we go to Israel next month, we wont be "the life of the party" or whatever. I am horrid. I feel bad for feeling this way.

Conversation with an Idiot

Conversation:


Woman: So, were you surprised when you found out you were having twins?



Me: Yes.


Woman: Were you scared?



Me: No.



Woman: It's so much fun to have twins. If I had twins I wouldn't work. I would stay home and raise them.



I considered that a jab



Me: Well personally, if I stayed home all day I would end up crazy. Plus, if I stayed home and put all my effort into raising children, and not have a past time or job of my own, I would probably feel empty and lack meaning once my kids were grown and out of the house (What happened with my mother which I promised I would never do).


Why do I feel like I have to apologize for working? This is not the first time.

I have always wanted to be a working mother. Yes, it is hard for me with all my heart and soul to leave my daughters in the mornings and go to work. But I know that:


A) Financially, I have no choice.
B) I provide our medical insurance/ 401k etc
c) I want to have a social life.


I am in no way knocking S-A-H-M, I salute you! I just know that personally, I couldn't do it.
I would love to stay home with my children for the first 3 years of their lives, and maybe even have another child- but that is impossible for me.


anyway, on an unrelated note- we finally have the girls social security numbers!!!!!

Now, the problem:

We need to get passports ASAP as our flight is in less than 4 weeks away. I went to the post office with all the filled out paperwork- but alas, they need my daughters to be there in person with me!

I guess that makes sense, but it's a huge pain in the ass! I work mon-fri, so my only option is to do it on the weekend. I worry about doing it so late bec of our time constraints. I will expedite them, but that means they promise that we should have it within 4 weeks or less! Sigh. This whole process will cost us about $300.



Will keep you posted.



Not too interesting today, there's always tomorrow.


BTW- Totally added my blogroll (for all of you who have been asking). I had one, but when I edited my layout, it somehow disappeared! Anyway, it is all there.


I leave you with the cutest pics of :



Soleil rubbing her head. This soothes her, I find this funny for two reasons:
1) When she was really small, I wouls caress her head and it would calm her and make her fall asleep. It seems like she can do it on her own now.
2) My father and his brothers do the same exact thing when they are resting! They put their hands on their heads- it's inborn I tell you!

Neve on Tummy time. She hates it. She makes the funniest sounds when she is on her tummy. Soleil giving me the finger
Neve and her favorite toy:

Can you tell that Neve has begun teething?

March of Dimes Walk

So, as expected it poured yesterday!


The weather has been so beautiful the past two weeks here in NY, and of course the day of the walk it's freezing, raining and grey. Since the walk was "Rain or Shine" , we got up early, dressed the girls warmly and made our way to the event. There were a lot of people, and I am sure if it was nice out, there would have been much more. We met up with our team and stood in the rain. This was the first time we broke out our rain shield for the girls stroller. We stood in the freezing cold and rain for an hour and then the walk began. We walked a bit but didn't think it was smart to keep the girls out too long in the rain and cold.


There were so many people there wearing shirts that said "Walking for child's name". Little children held up wet signs that said "I'm a survivor". I couldn't help but cry. I was a mess. there were many twin, and triplet strollers on the scene. I think we were the only twin infants there though- I didn't see anyone as young as my girls there (everyone must have kept their kids in because of the rain). It didn't feel right not to go because of the rain. I was walking for my daughters, for other preemie children and for all the wonderful people who sponsored me. BTW- I managed to raise over $1,100.00. Thank you to all those who donated. You guys are the best!


I felt a deep connection with the rest of the parents there, something I have never felt before.. a type of solidarity. Like we have all been through this war- and it is never far from our hearts and thoughts. When the NY ambassador parents were relaying their story of how they lost one of their triplet daughters after being born premature.. I broke down. I cannot imagine having to go through something like that, losing a child. I think I now officially feel like a mother. I would give my life for my daughters.

The event started outside of a mall parking lot, so after we walked a bit, we took the girls to the mall. We sat there. had some lunch, walked around and just spent time together as a family. It was awesome.


Here are some pictures from the day:

Team photo:

Neve sleeping comfortably inside the stroller:

Starting Line:

The family:

Mall pics:

Time to go home:
Sleeping on the way home:

Money Raised
There was no way I could have predicted people's generosity. So far I have helped raise over $1,000.00 for the MOD. I have never felt better. It feels good to help a cause, it really does.


Company
A few friends are coming over tonight to see the girls. I am in no mood for company especially after working the entire day, coming home at 6:45pm and then having to entertain. The girls are usually grumpy by 7pm anyway, and wont be their usually smiley selves. Plus they will need to go to sleep, and wont truly be able to with every one's loud talking (my friends are VERY loud).

On top of that, my husband works tomorrow and therefore I am the one that has to wake up most of the night and early tomorrow morning (can you sense how excited I am to have friends over?). I hate that I feel this way, but it is true- things change when you have kids. I like my predictable days/nights.
My friends are all single and ready to mingle, and therefore have no idea. They were like "Just keep the babies up"... umm, it doesn't work that way. Plus I totally wanted to veg out tonight and watch Lost (GD bless you DVR).

Grandpa
My father went away to Israel for 3 weeks and just got back on Tuesday. Since he didn't find anything to buy the girls, he said he would take us out shopping on Saturday. Oohh.. shopping. This is a major effort on his end since the man is shall we say.. frugal? OK- he's cheap. I'm sorry to say it, but he is. He wasn't cheap while I was growing up, but I think his advanced age has made him this way. I don't know if I have ever mentioned that I get along really well with my father. We are a like in a lot of ways, plus I can talk to him without fighting. This is a major plus. It makes me happy to see him so happy with his granddaughters. He loves them a lot.

Carriers
So we ventured out with the girls yesterday when I came home from work. It was really nice- they seems to enjoy it.



And yes, I brought along a camera although very inconvenient!




Daddy with Neve (she really is his clone)

Me & Soleil





Neve looking with wonder at a tree

Two years ago I read a book about mother and daughters and their relationships. It really opened my eyes to why daughter/ mothers act and respond to one another the way we do. The book is called " You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation"

After reading it, I got along with my mother for maybe two weeks before our relationship turned sour again. I lent the book to my former manager, and she lost it. She finally purchased another book for me (over a year later!)and gave it to me yesterday- just in time!


I started reading it again. If not for the relationship I have with my mother, then for the relationship I will have with my daughters. It really makes you understand why mothers say certain things and why daughters react the way they do. I really encourage every woman to buy it.



Moving on.. yesterday my boss was out of the office so I left work a bit early. It was a beautiful day here in New York, so we decided to take the baby carriers out of their boxes and walk with the girls. So much easier with carriers! My husband took Soleil and I took Neve. We were going to walk one or two blocks, but ended up walking all the way to my parents house. The girls were so captivated, staring at the trees and the people in an upright position. Soleil kept sticking her tongue out- its a new thing she does.



My husband and I were discussing last night that we each seemed to be more attached to a certain twin. I hate talking about it at all, because in no way do I want anyone to think that I love one of my daughters more than the other- because I don't. I just seem to gravitate towards Neve. I don't know if it is because she was the smaller baby (which many books on twins say happens when one twin is smaller), or because her temperament is easier. I just feel like Soleil is very high maintenance/ drama mama and nothing that I do or say calms her. But when her daddy picks her up, she instantly quiets down. When he comes home she smiles at him and flails her arms and legs- something she doesnt do with me. Neve does though.

So we each decided that we need to spend more time with the other twin. I feel guilty just writing it.



BTW- I managed to raise $500.00 from all my wonderful co-workers, and WONDERFUL/ AMAZING blog readers! You guys are so awesome. I have never felt more passionate about a cause before in my life. I feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that because I shyly sent out an email another $500 is added to the MOD research. I know that it is just a drop in a bucket, but it's something. I am thankful for my daughters, the loves of my lives. I am thankful for the MOD because if it weren't for the organization- who knows what would have been with my little girls.

If you haven't yet contributed and would like to help the March of Dimes (me trying not to solicit but failing horribly) please click on the link to the right!

Do it for them:

Donations

OK, I did it. I got off my as.s and sent out an email to all my co-workers to sponsor me for the March of Dimes walk on Sunday. I hate soliciting people for anything, but this is a cause that is near and dear to me.

Within the first 2 minutes, I received a $50.oo donation! How awesome is that? My company has big bucks so I hope to raise some more money.

I actually went back and read posts that I wrote when I was on hospital bed rest and when the girls were first born. It took me back and brought up so many memories for me. I love having this blog... since I have no time at home to actually keep a hand written diary, this does the trick! I just hope I will one day remember to print these pages out for memory.

So I have decided that I officially need to get some new bras. There is nothing worse for me than bra shopping. But my "girls" are not what they used to be and gravity is not their friend.

BTW- If you consider donating/ sponsoring me- please click on the link on the right hand side of the page.

You guys rock!


*So far I have helped raise $310.00 how amazing are people!**

R- Is for Randomness

Whatever

Last night while I was waiting for the bus, I saw a woman smoking. I don't usually notice these things, but unfortunately this woman was 8 months pregnant.

I really do not get it.

I just don't.

She seemed disheveled. I mean come on, you are growing a human being inside of you. Do what you want to yourself, but wait until that child is out of you. I felt bad for drinking one cup of coffee every morning while I was pregnant!

The vibe I got was that this woman just truly didn't care about anything. I felt bad for her, but worse for her baby. It just kills me when I see this, because there are SO many women out there who would love to get pregnant and take care of their bodies and their babies, and then there are those women who smoke during pregnancy.

GD is funny.

Dreams

On a separate note, I had a dream about my grandmother a few night ago. She was on line, waiting to go to heaven and she was scared. I told her not to be.

Now in Judaism, we believe that a soul doesn't truly leave this earth until a year after a persons death.

Then last night I dreamt that she looked beautiful and was wearing white. She gave me a hug. I truly believe that it was her in my dream, not just something my brain conjured up. It would def be like her to come to us in dreams.

But then the second half of my dream?

Madonn.a wanted me to audition as a back up dancer for her.

Now mind you, I cant dance to save my life.

But I put on the leggings and busted a move. She liked my dancing!

Preemies

Apparently I can now spot them from a mile away. I was on the salad line at the cafeteria in my office building an hour ago and there was a woman with a stroller in front of me. I looked in, and saw a tiny baby. I started a conversation with the mother. She said her daughter was 4 weeks premature (which in my book isn't so bad) and instead of being born on 4/15, she was born on 3/14. So the baby was like a 2 week old. Of course I started to recount my tales of the NICU (which she had as well).

Babies

But seeing that tiny baby brought back so many memories. It just makes me realize just how big my girls have gotten (THANK GD). They are not those tiny fragile little things anymore. I kind of miss having a newborn (although I am 3 days late with my period). Ha- imagine getting pregnant naturally right after IVF?

That happened to my aunt. She had one baby naturally, than an ivf baby, and got pregnant with her third son 3 months later. But I doubt I'm pregnant, as I didn't engage in any sexual ac.ts last month (I was Way too exhausted!). At least I don't think so. That would be a funny conversation to have with the boss.

Anyway, I def feel like aunt flo will be coming to town (feel it as we speak) so I will keep you informed.

But a part of me feels like I would like to have another one soon, although my husband is against it. Every time the girls cry and I cant soothe them (and become fed up) he says to me "So, you really want to add another to this equation?" But I kind of feel like, if you're already in baby mode, just go for it. It's not like we're not changing poopy diapers, and have two of everything. I think its great to be young parents. And who knows if I will be able to conceive later on down the road when we are "Ready" again.

*Sigh*

Mothers

Anyway my mother tried to "make up" with me today.

As I was handing Neve over to my mother this morning so that she could feed her, Neve looked at me and smiled. My mom said to her " You know who your mommy is! Do you love your mommy?" then my mother leaned over and said "I love mommy too" and gave me a kiss. Sorry, not buying it for the millionth time lady.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Walk

I have the March for Babies walk on Sunday. I am very excited. I have never felt compelled to do a walk before, but this is one that i MUST do. I will be walking with my husband and daughters. I wish I would have collected donations sooner. I just hate putting my co-workers/ friends on the spot.

BTW- After getting up and going to the bathroom during this post- I can confirm that I am NOT pregnant (so put your banners and confetti away)

51-76

51. I have a love/ hate relationship with Nicole Richie.

52. I always doodle when I'm on the phone.

53. I don't read many books. The ones I do read usually have to do with a subject that I am into at the moment; IF, Pregnancy, Twins, Babies. There are occasional books that I have come across that totally rocked: The red tent

54. I am a huge celebrity trash junkie. I am on Perez or Dlisted daily. OK, hourly.

55. As a child, I dreamt of being an actress. I truly believed that I could become a famous actress if I chose to. I envisioned my NYC apt, and how my life would be.

56. Sometimes as I am randomly walking down the street, I imagine running into my favorite singer of all time: Gary Barlow. I picture myself telling him just how much I love his music, and him being surprised that he has American fans. We proceed to run away together.

The reality is, if I saw him I would probably hyperventilate.

57. Speaking of which, I was a huge Fred Savage fan when I was in elementary school (when the wonder years first began). I loved him. One day while I was a senior in H.S, me and a few friends decided to catch a Conan taping. While we were on line, everyone in the audience wanted to know who were going to be the guests on his show that evening. When I heard Fred Savage, I wanted to die! Everyone else was disappointed.

58. We ended up sitting in the front row. Fred Savage was looking at me the entire time! My friends agreed. When the show was over, Fred was passing by me- I screamed his name, he stopped, came over and said "Yes?". I stood there in silence. I didn't know what to say to this former teen crush of mine! He looked at me like I was crazy, and left.

59. Speaking of Conan O'Br*ien, one day back in 2004 while watching one of his episodes, he had mentioned that he had just had a baby girl and named her Neve. I was painting with the tv on in the background, but when I heard the name Neve I instantly lifted my head up. That was a name I gravitated towards.

60. I love cartoons. My favorites are of course: The Simpsons, and Family Guy

61. I may sound weird, but I actually truly care for my blog friends- as if I knew them in real life.

62. You know who you are.

63. I told my mother last week that my brother has AS, and she took it surprisingly well (and didn't call me a liar)

64. My favorite number is 64 (my bday). For some reason every phone number I ever had, included the numbers 64 (consecutively of course).

65 I don't think I have truly dealt with my grandmother's passing.

66. I know it will hit me like a ton of bricks when I go to Israel next month, and visit my grandparents empty house.

67. Whenever we had leftovers as a child, my grandmother would take it out to the alley by her house to feed to the stray cats. When I asked her why she would do that, she said that cats have souls too.

68. I was Mary Poppins in my 1st grade class production.

69. When my solo came up (You go fly a kite...) everyone in my class sang along with me, so it drowned me out. It made me sad.

70. I am by far, the messiest eater in the world. I get food everywhere. My husband says I need to wear a bib.

71. I found out on Friday that someone in my office is pregnant with twins. I proceeded to poke my head into her office and say "Did I hear you are having twins?".

72. She asked for advice, and I gave her some. It's nice to be able to be the one to give the advice.

73. I am not that involved in politics. I find it interesting to see the Democratic candidates duke it out, but ultimately, I think ANYONE will do a better job at running this country than our current president.

74. I started the South Be*ach Diet today and all I'm craving is carbs!

75. I don't think I should have "eaten for three" when I was pregnant. I am definitely paying the price today.

76. If I won the lotto tomorrow, I would probably quit my job (if I won a substantial amount that is), stay home with my girls (of course, home would be much bigger!) and get to enjoy them. I truly wish I could spend more time with them. I'm afraid that they will resent me for working during their childhood.

Wordless Saturday

*If you cant tell what the onesies say :

"Bad hair day" (like I said before, straight silky hair is not something anyone has in this family. I knew this before they were born, as these were purchased prior to their birth)

Have a Happy Saturday!

D- Dont have too much time to write today

This is the Afro I had as a child. It couldn't be tamed..

100 Things (1-50)

Today, I give you 1-50. Why don't you guys do your own as well!

1. When I was in the 5th grade, I purchased globe earrings (you know, earrings shaped like a globe?

Before my teacher walked in, she called me aside and said that they were "inappropriate" and proceeded to tell me to remove them. I never wore them again.



2. I used to have a belly button ring. I took it out when I had one of my surgeries, and it never made its way back. The hole is closed now. Of course, with my deflated balloon belly- I would not dare to put it on!



3. I don't eat beef. Neither does my husband.

4. When I was a teen, I LOVED Contempo Casuals. It was the best store.

5. As a child, I had several diaries. I loved the creative outlet.

6. In my diaries, I would leave messages for my "future children" so that if they were to read it once I had passed, it would sort of be a "message from beyond".



7. I love baking, but I totally suck at it.

8. You know you're not a good baker when your husband begs you NOT to bake.

9. My favorite shows on TV are "The Office" and "Lost".

10. My guilty pleasure show is "Rock of Love" (Ambre won, don't know how when she had two different hair colors).

11. I think Bret Michael's is kind of cute.

12. I have been told that I have a good voice.

13. I once sang the national anthem in front of a few hundred people in my college, and I successfully hit the high note.

14. I wish there was a tape of it.

15. I don't think I should have worn sequined jeans while I sang it.

16. I have super curly hair. I have to get it blow dried every week at a salon because it is THAT curly.


17. My daughters have the makings of brillow hair.

18. We knew they were going to have it. My husband and I both have "challenged hair"

19. The sad thing about that? My brother has straight hair, and so do my husband's 3 siblings. We totally lost out on the straight hair gene

20. As I had mentioned before, I knew my husband as a child. One day while at his house (I was about 8) while my brother was playing with my husband and his brother, my husband came out to the living room where I was sitting and told me to come and "play" with them- which entailed jumping on their beds.

21. Today, if my husband were to ask me to "play" with him, I don't think it would mean jumping up and down on the mattress... or would it?

22. When I was in the first grade, I was doing homework and watching jeopard*y (I probably wasn't actually watching it). I had a bad habit of chewing on my pens. On this particular night, I had chewed through the clear plastic pen, when suddenly, I had cut open the roof of my mouth. I bled so much and was taken to the ER.

23. Until this day, I have a bump on the roof of my mouth with a piece of pen logged in there.

24. Because I couldn't eat due to the deep cut I had, my mother made me soup. She told me that if I were to finish the bowl, she would go out and buy me a cabbage patc*h doll. I called her on her bluff, and she actually went out, in the snow, and purchased one for me. (That was nice mom)

25. She purchased the baby cabbage patch, which happened to be the "preemie collection".

26. It was my favorite doll. Eerie isn't it?

Still have it until this day

27. Before my grandparents met (mom's parents), my grandfather was supposed to go on a date with my grandmother's sister. Since her sister fell ill (and of course there were no pay phones around), she sent my grandmother in her place to tell him that she couldn't make it. One look at my grandmother, and my grandfather was hooked. It took a lot of persuading, but my grandmother went out on a date with him.

28. My mother was pregnant before I was conceived and miscarried at 2 months. She then became pregnant with me two months later. If she hadn't miscarried.. I wouldn't be here today.

29. I love candy. I could do without chocolate, but I love gummy worms, and bears and frogs...

30. I was once in an Asian market, and saw a bin that said $5.99 a pound. On further inspection, there were live frogs in there! Poor frogs.

31. I still shudder at that memory.

32. I can be somewhat sarcastic.

33. My best friend is one of the most amazing people I ever met. When I was in college and my first boyfriend broke my heart so bad I couldn't breathe and all I wanted to do was leave and run far away (but I had no money so couldn't)... she literally bought me a plane ticket out of the country and gave me spending money.

34. Her daughter was born the day that I found out I was finally pregnant- May 11th.

35. Me and Angelina Jolie share the same birthday. But why couldnt we share Brad Pitt?

36. Today I am wearing a long, leafy-print tunic. I look like Mrs. Roper.

37. I don't feel like a "mother" yet. Whatever that means.

38. I never check expiration dates at the grocery store. I know I should, even when the milk is in my hand. I guess I'm lazy.

39. Surprisingly, I have hardly purchased anything that was expired.

40. I have never eaten: Pork, Shellfish;lobster, crabs, shrimp, cheeseburger, or any meat cooked in dairy products. Eating those items above is considered not kosher. And although, I'm not so religious, this is something I keep.

41. It's hard explaining this to waiters at restaurants so when I ask if their chicken is cooked with butter, and they have a puzzled look on their face- I say that I am lactose intolerant.

42. I am the worst speller. If it weren't for spellcheck, this blog would be full of spelling errors. (which would make you think an uneducated person was behind the keyboard). Surprisingly, I am well educated besides for my spelling.

43. I LOVE the food network.

44. I flunked out of Greek Mythology (a core at my college) twice. The final time: I got an A.

45. I had a traditional Yemenite marriage ceremony a week before my wedding. It is called a Henna. I wore crazy traditional garb:

46. One might say that I had a flair for the dramatics as a child:

Me as a yenta

47. I truly don't get women that stand on the salad line and get a healthy, leafy, green salad- only to top it off with the most fattening ranch or blue cheese dressing. Don't they know that they are better off having a burger?

48. Speaking of which, I hate when people eat their sandwiches upside down (I.E the sesame part of the roll, on the bottom.

49. I totally just scored a cool single stroller in hot pink for $29.99 - and it's new!

50. I can probbaly sing every theme song to every sitcom from the 80's and 90's. Pretty sad.

S- Is for Sorority

I don't know where I can come up with any more topics to write about!

Hmm... OK.

Did you all know that I was in a sorority? I was.

Let me take you back to 1999. I had just graduated an all- girl school that had about 80 kids. When I entered college- I knew no one. My college was HUGE!

So one day, when I was using the ladies restroom, a girl looked at me and asked if I wanted to join a sorority. I figured "why not?" so I went to a Rush meeting.

I quickly realized that it was Rush Week and that there were many sororities to choose from. I didn't quite like her sorority since the girls seemed a little weird (accept for one or two girls). So I shopped around. Another friend who I grew up with, was rushing a bigger, more well know, more popular sorority.

Naturally,that was the one I wanted!

Sorority # 1

So I attended their meetings. They would ask us questions about ourselves and I would answer truthfully. They asked if I wanted to join a sorority to meet boys. I said that was one of the reasons.

That made them unhappy (since joining was about "sisterhood"), and so they didn't want me to pledge for them. I was just being truthful! I mean, I attended all-girl schools my entire life, so yes- I did want to hang out with guys.

Sorority #2

The loved me. I learnt from my mistakes, and didn't say anything about boys. I hung out with them a lot. During this process (few weeks), I came across a boy that I thought was cute. He hit on me and we hung out once, although nothing happened.

As I was hanging out with said sorority sisters, they asked if I thought anyone in the fraternities was cute. I said yes and named the boy. Apparently, that did not go over well. He was the president's ex-boyfriend. I was out of the running yet again.

I felt so rejected- as if I was back in High school!

*BTW- the cute boy that I hung out with? Turns out he came out the closet. Not the first time gay boys wanted to make out with me, but alas, a story for another day.*

Sorority #3

The original girl who cornered me in the bathroom still wanted me to pledge. Their pledge night was that night and she called to see if I still wanted to join. I felt defeated. I didn't want to join their sorority! They seemed off. There were some "freaks" and "nerds" - don't you love the terminology?

But she convinced me to come that night.

It was at a sister's house and all the girls that wanted to join, had to enter a room (one by one) with all the sisters of the sorority in a dark, candle-lit room. You would stand in the dim room, not allowed to make eye contact, while everyone took their turn interrogating you. It was scary.

All the other girls that were there that night that wanted to join were awesome though. A lot of "cool" girls. So when they asked me to pledge- as if I passed their test- I was excited!

We had to wear our pledge outfits for many weeks- consisting of :

White t-shirt

Red zip up sweater

light blue jeans

white tennis shoes

(Red and white were our colors)

We weren't allowed to wear make up, and had to wear a big huge pom-pom on our ring fingers (made of red and white yarn naturally).

We had to walk around with pledge cans (since we were "pledges"), had to carry around an "Essentials Bag" which consisted of :

gum, tampons, sanitary napkins - just in case one of the sisters needed it.

We had to study and memorize a huge pledge book with info such as:

• Our sorority's history




• All the sisters names that have been in the sorority and their lineage (the sorority had only been around since 1992, so it wasn't so bad)




• Our songs (which were all in the tune of little mermaid songs since she was our mascot)




• We had to call all the sisters weekly, so that we could bond with them- and get to know them. We had scavenger hunts, mixers, and hell week.

My pledge name was "Tai"- as in Tai from "clueless", since they said I reminded them of her:

The funny thing is, a few friends in high school called me tai because they said I reminded them of her as well!

Anywho, after 6 weeks- I joined/ became a sister.

Of course, don't forget, I was in the "uncoolest, most unpopular" sorority on campus.

But don't you worry- my pledge class turned it around- since we were all such awesome girls, we eventually became the most sought after club to be in. While the "popular" sorority's lost out on competitions (to us) and lost their title as the most awesome- we took their place.

Ahh.. the underdog. Gotta love it.

I should totally post some pictures of those glory days if I find any!

Our beautiful uniforms








At our sorority formal. My date was off getting drunk somewhere Me trying to scrape off plastic from my friend's grandmother's toaster that I had burnt accidentaly. Fun times.

So tell me- did any of you join a sorority? if so why or why not?

R- Is for Realization

Random thoughts.

OK, so after posting yesterday, my amazing blogger friends came out and gave me support. You guys totally made me feel better.

As it turns out, Chas had mentioned that maybe my brother has some sort of minor Autism which makes him the way he is. She said it is called Asperger syndrome . I read up on it, and finally I now know why he acts the way he does. He was born this way. It made me step back and hate myself a bit. I mean, all the years of being mean to him because he lacked empathy, and had selfish tendencies.

Symptoms of AS (which my brother has):

• The lack of demonstrated empathy
  


• a lack of social or emotional reciprocity



• people with AS are not usually withdrawn around others; they approach others, even if awkwardly, for example by engaging in a one-sided, long-winded speech about a favorite topic while being oblivious to the listener's feelings or reactions, such as signs of boredom or haste to leave.



• This social awkwardness has been called "active but odd".
  


• This failure to react appropriately to social interaction may appear as disregard for other people's feelings, and may come across as insensitive.



• People with Asperger syndrome display behavior, interests, and activities that are restricted and repetitive and are sometimes abnormally intense or focused (he becomes obsessed with a subject and needs to know everything about it. Then he moves on to another obsession).

I now know that he cant help the way he acts. I cant believe that there are others that act this way as well. It's just strange to finally be able to put a finger on what he has. My brother is a very smart guy, so a person would never think that he might have some sort of autism. I am dumbfounded. I wish I could share this information with him, but my husband thinks that it may offend him and come across as if I'm judging him. I don't know, I mean would you want to know if you had this?

My mother came to my house this morning, and we didn't speak. Fine by me. Its better not to talk thus we wont get into fights.

Pierced:

So as I was going to mention before, I got the girls ears pierced on Saturday. They cried for a little bit, but now it doesn't seem to bother them. Soleil is the dramaqueen though- she started crying when the doctor put the alcohol on her ears! I told her if she thinks she's uncomfortable now, just wait. At first, they looked so strange with earrings, but now I think they look adorable! You know, I never really thought about it before- but piercing your child's ears is very tribal. I know Americans don't really consider themselves tribal, but think about it. Putting a hole through their little ears?

I mean, what makes it different than putting a plate in your lip:

or wearing an insane amount of bars on your neck to elongate it?:

Pierced ears:

Soleil

Neve

BTW- The girls have been waking up every 3 hours to eat lately. I want to shoot myself in the foot! Maybe they are going through a growth spurt?

On another note, I cannot wait until my "vacation" at the end of may. I don't know if it's really a vacation when you take kids, but I am super excited to introduce the girls to their family.

I leave you with this: