I can eat grilled cheese sandwiches for days.
Seriously, my love for them has not wavered at all during this pregnancy. It is my comfort food. Before I leave for work in the morning I make one or two to tide me over on the long subway ride. I never get sick of them.
Anyway, I am getting to that point in my pregnancy when everything hurts. Everything. All the time. Even when I lay in bed I feel my achy limbs. My husband has not offered to give me a massage as of yet. Places hurt that I never knew could hurt! Is it strange that my pubic bones hurt (I know TMI)? The weight of these kids is finally getting to me.
And I would be so cool with that if I would feel them kicking me- but I haven't yet! When will I feel their little feet hitting my insides? It really does worry me that I have not felt them yet. I know the doctor said I should start feeling them at the end of my 5th month or so... but with twins I expected to feel them earlier. Look at me, already worrying about my kids.
Sometimes when I walk down the street or sit on the subway, I wonder to myself if there are women looking at me and envying that I am pregnant (when they have fertility struggles). I wonder about these unknown women because I was them a few months ago. The summers were the worst because clothing is minimal so you tend to notice many pg women walking down the street. And every time you see one, it's a slap in the face. You then question what is wrong with you and ask GD why you cant be one of those women. You curse life and think it unfair. And it is.
And now, I am the pregnant woman in the summertime. But although I am pregnant, I will ALWAYS be one of them. ALWAYS. I will always be a woman that has to have medical science intervene if she wants to get pregnant. And who knows if I will be lucky again in the future? It's funny how people always ask a woman how many kids she plans to have. Isn't it funny that it's a choice for most women? It's not for most of us. I sit back and tell people I would love 4 children, but in the back of my mind I know that truly, the number is up to GD.
Oh on a side note.... tell me I'm not the only one fearing that when these babies come out they will look nothing like my husband or I. I know there have been situations in the past that they have put the wrong eggs in or mixed the wrong sperm in fertility clinics. How crazy is that? I mean, once you remove mother nature from the equation- anything can happen. I have faith that my children will be mine and my husband's but you cant truly know until they come out right? Please tell me these thoughts have crossed your minds as well.
Oh- and I called my doctor to see if I can take Mylanta for this heartburn and he suggested Zantac. Has anyone taken these and how well do they work?
12 comments:
Hey, Gemini Girl. Thanks for commenting on my blog.
I hear you on the worries: making other infertiles feel bad AND the nagging worry about a lab mix-up. We did IUI so I'm only worried about the sperm. I don't think it crosses my husband's mind much.
This may sound silly, but in our 20 week ultrasound, I felt I could see a resemblance. Yeah, right!
My other nagging worry is that, despite a VERY clear shot of girly parts, we're going to end up with a boy. That's not a bad thing, as long as he likes pink.
Thanks for your comment on my blog. After 22 years in Israel, life in the US seems so superficial to me that I don't know if I'd ever be able to go back... I spent 5 days in the US last month, after over 13 years when I didn't go even once. It was fun, but Israel is home :-)
About your post - my IVF twins look a lot like their father. My daughter doesn't seem to have ANYTHING from me - not personality, not appearance, nothing (she's 11 and I just spent a week in Croatia / Slovenia / Italy with her, so I've had plenty of time to look for something in common). It's definitely occurred to me that there might have been some sort of mix-up (though certainly not with the sperm)... I figure that it doesn't really make any difference now.
And yes, the bones you mentioned can really hurt... In my last 2 pregnancies I used a maternity belt (very unsexy girdly type thing, with metal pieces in the back) and it saved my life. OK, not really, but it made it possible for me to walk without excruciating pain...
How great that cheese sandwiches make you happy :)
Have you tried slurpees and or popcycles :) mmmmmm
You have probably been feeling them and just don't know it.
TRUST ME...you will feel them. YOU WILL FEEL THEM A LOT :)
I had SO much pain. TONS of groin pain. It was almost hard for me to walk. I wanted to just hold on to help support it.
My back KILLED most of the time. So much so that I wasn't able to tell the difference between the contractions and back pain in the end.
My twins look COMPLETELY different. I have this toe head with blue eyes and wonder where he comes from :)
I watched him come out...or I would have questioned them switching them in the nursery :)
I did wonder a tiny bit about the what's ifs of the whole embryo mixup thing. I had heard of a white couple that ended up with a mixed black/white baby (they'd used the mom's egg and some random black guy's sperm). Oh well...no use in worrying at this point...those twins are in there to stay :). Also, Lila looks just like me, so I have no doubt she's mine.
Also, before I had Lila, I used to get jealous when I saw pregnant ladies out. Now, however, it's different...very weird...every time I see a pregnant woman, unless she's already got several children with her, I wonder if she had to do IVF, or maybe just an IUI. I know most of them didn't have to, but I'm still very curious. Thank goodness the jealousy hasn't reared it's ugly head in that respect.
Well you know Mylanta is my bitch. Love it.
Honestly, I have only just begun to feel Hef move consistantly (25 weeks tomorrow) I read about women feeling their bub move from 18 weeks. It worried me a little that I wasn't feeling Enough. It's that boring old explaination "we are all different"
OMG. I never thought about the babies being "Ours" and not a mix up. I know it has happened (rare) imagine if Hef is Chinese? Shouldn't joke. No, I don't worry about it.
How funny for you to talk about the ivf mix-up worries. Dh said I would wake him up in the middle of the night to ask him if the babies were his (I talk in my sleep when I am stressed). He said I've not done it for awhile, but I was waking him quite regularly for some time! :-)
I also will always be an IF girl...a girl a work said she is five weeks pregnant with number two today. It irritated me soooo much for some reason. I shouldn't care, right? But the whole idea of her getting pg AGAIN so easily just bugs me! Sigh.
We totally have thought about the possiblity of having mix-up babies that weren't really ours. After all, when I had my retrieval and transfer done, there were about 8 other women having it done on the same day. I guess I just have to trust my clinic that they're super careful about this sort of stuff!
Ok, sounds like it's time for Mr GG to offer up some massagin in his wifes direction! I hope the aches don't get much worse for you - maybe some bath salts?
And you've now given me the biggest hankering for grilled cheese sandwiches. YUM!! :)
Wish I could help on the pregnancy stuff but I'm still on the other side of the fence BUT I have taken Zantac and theye were really effective.
Followed you here through Lisalou.
Congratulations on the twins, and I hope things don't get too uncomfortable for you.
I'm 29 weeks with my second, and found that good ol' tums works best on heartburn. You can pop em' like candy.
Yummie, grilled cheese. You just inspired me to get up from my desk and go get me some lunch.
Thanks for writing this post -- it's nice to know that succesful women don't forget us infertiles that are still out there struggling.
Anns xo
Truly - we are all different - and the location of the placentas can have a lot to do with when you feel the first movements. For me, my Baby A had a posterior placenta, and I felt little "blips" from him just before 16 weeks, which is pretty early. Baby B has an anterior placenta, and I don't think I felt him until about 20 weeks. Don't worry too much - pretty soon you will feel them all the time!
It's funny that you mention the worry about potential mixups in the lab - yesterday my husband said something like "as long as they're healthy, I don't care if they have Afros." and I thought - "No! I would care!" Not so much that I wouldn't love my children, but moreso that society would be constantly questioning and making comments to remind you of the mix-up. I think that would be the worst part.
However, these thoughts have drifted into my head only a few times during this pregnancy - and overall I am just not worried.
Regarding your question about the nursery letters- they are from the craft store Mich.aels, and then we painted them and mounted them to the wall with a double stick tape. Worked out really well - and the letters are about $1.50 each.
Regarding the crib bumpers- some people feel there is a higher chance of SIDS - some people feel that is due to the airflow being blocked - but some say it is just when they are fluffy or not secured properly to the sides of the crib. I have not seen any medical evidence proving this one way or the other.
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