Last week I was stressing out over day care expenses. Turns out the day care centers in our area are insanely expensive! For a 3 month old from 8am-5pm it's about one thousand dollars a month. Times that by two- and we are broke! I mean we could probably swing it but that means we wont have a dollar left over. Not one- what happens in emergencies? That's how you get into credit card debt.
There is no chance that I will stay home. Its not in the cards for me- for many different reasons.
1) I bring in a good amount of money and we could not afford if I stayed home. My job also offers medical insurance and 401k... so we need those!
2) I finally got a job that I know will lead me in my chosen career path
3) I always wanted to be a working mother. I know that no one can have it all- you may not be able to have it all at once, but you can have it all.
My mother stayed home with us until I was 8. I loved having my mom pick me up from the bus, and have hot food ready on the table. I would tell her about my day as we walked home. It really was great. But as I got older I wondered why she never had a career... my mother never finished high school and got married young. She was 22, married my father who was 12 years her senior (mind you, he was twice divorced!) and moved with him to the US- leaving her entire family behind. She never took care of her wants or needs. Her kids were her life. She got odd jobs here and there- but she never had to work (my family was financially secure at the time). I guess a part of me resented not having a career driven mother. I always vowed to myself that I would finish high school, go to college and get a job in a field I love. That I would not be like her. She is very old fashioned- she never payed the bills, she never knew how much money my father made- even until today! I hated that so much!
In my home now, I am the one who pays our bills , I know exactly how much money my husband makes, and we go over our finances weekly. I feel so empowered.
Anyway, I'm off on a tangent........
So after my 3 month maternity leave, I must return to work. My husband is in school when the semester begins, and therefore he only works part time- which means I bring in a large sum of our income during that time.
My mother had mentioned that maybe she would take a break from her job for a year and watch the babies... but kind of backed out of it. My mother is a home care worker, which means she is assigned to an elderly person and goes to their home for a few hours a day to tend to their needs. She makes almost nothing, but enjoys having a job and the medical benefits that come along with that.
I have begged her to watch my kids for a year and that I would pay her. She is now considering this. My argument is.. would she rather see her only grand kids being taken care of by people who don't know them.....? I tell her she gets to be home and enjoy herself while they nap- which is most of the day when they are young. Its not like they are running around at that point. If she says yes- then I will be saving money and know that my kids are in great hands.
4 comments:
This post makes me smile on a number of levels. :)
I was the SAME way. I wanted it all. I wanted to have a job, I wanted to be the greatest mom, I wanted to rule the world.
When those babies come, don't be so certain that your mind won't change. Your priorities might change. They may not. I'm just saying...don't be surprised if they do.
I remember thinking that I wouldn't be fullfilled if I didn't do it all. The truth is...this is the hardest damn job I've ever had. Staying home with my babies that I worked SO HARD to get here, that I paid A TON of money for is the best thing EVER. I wanted to put my kids first. Their needs first. My job, my career...that will wait until later. Right now we are sacrificing. We are missing out on lots of expensive trips, and toys.....but I'm with my kids every day. I don't miss a thing. Not a smile, not a first step, new tooth. I get to teach them, mold them in to (hopefully) good people. These are precious memories and I feel blessed to be a part of it.
Twins. They are HARD WORK ! They do sleep a lot...but not all day. Sometimes they sleep together, sometimes they don't. Their needs have to be met RIGHT THEN and they usually want the same thing at the same time. If your mother is willing (God BLESS her) to quit work and help you....she is wonderful. I hope it works out for you.
Daycare is EXPENSIVE ! It's all tough. Too bad your husband couldn't stay home with them.
I'm going to have to agree with your above commenter to a certain degree. I wanted my career and to be a working mom too; I NEVER considered staying at home. I found a great babysitter so that Lila would have a more personal setting (by the way, you should look into that, there are lots of older ladies who sit for kids in their homes...I only paid $80.00 a week!!). Anyway, as my maternity leave was coming to an end I realized that I was going to be missing out on the best part of her day. I went back to work, but my heart wasn't in it anymore. I lasted for the entire school year, b/c it would be crappy to leave my principal hanging in the middle of a school year, but I won't be going back in the fall. It really is amazing how your priorities change. However, if you're the one bringing home your family's main income and you're the one providing health insurance, then I can't blame you for staying put. You can't allow your kids to go without the major necessities, and you must have insurance.
I hope that your mom says yes. I am really stressed about what we will do for daycare. We are in a very small town that has "homecare" only and most of them have more kids then they should because nobody bothers checking in on them.
Good luck!
OMG.
There is so much to think about!
Post a Comment