Could it be????

Friday morning I went in for my Beta. I was nervous, but a part of me felt safe because of the hpt's that I had taken prior to my blood test. But nothing is ever 100% with IVF.

So there I was at 6:20am, waiting to get tested. I thought I would get there first but there were two women before me. It was pouring outside.

I got to work and tried to get my mind off the fact that one phone call could change my life.

At 9:45am, my cell phone rang with the clinic's number. I had no where to go to speak privately, I was in my cube at work.

So I answered.

"Maya, this is Nurse X how are you"?

I sensed happiness in her voice.

(Of course it had to be the nurse that I *don't* like.)

"Good, how are you"? I answered.

"Well, I'm here with Erica, Joanne, Sam and Nicole."

I waited.

"Maya, why do you think we would all be on the phone?"

I wanted to scream- "Get to it woman" but I couldn't.

"Maya your pregnant".

I wanted to jump out of my seat. I wanted to scream. I was out of breath. I was for once in my life, speechless.

"Yes but how's my hCg?" I asked.

270.

Wow.

I'm pregnant.


Me?

I wanted to call my husband, but he was in a final. So I ran to my co-worker across from my cube. She knows what I underwent and she's around my mom's age and very motherly. I stood there and smiled. I had no soundproof outlet. She hugged me.

Then I called my best friend. I didn't want to bother her since 6 hours prior she herself had given birth to a baby girl ( which everyone thought would be a boy).

I called her but she was on the phone and asked me to call her back. I told her OK, but just for your information, I too will be in your situation in 8 months from now. She was ecstatic!

Then I saw my husband's number on the caller ID. I wanted to tell him the news in a original way- but I couldn't wait. I said "Hi daddy"...he was in shock.

This whole experience is so surreal. You get used to disappointments and you just learn to expect them.

So I went in for my second beta today and I await the results.

I have been cramping majorly the past few days. I could hardly sleep on Friday night or last night. I hope that's normal. My friends say it is because your uterus is expanding, but I am in pain. It comes and goes.

My IVF buddy ( a woman who I met every morning at blood tests) just found out that she's not pg. It breaks my heart. I mean, why is it that it happens for some and not for others? It pains me. It really does. I know I should be concentrating on myself, but it hurts me. What if it were the other way around? I would want to know why.

On another note:

I am now part of May/June's cyclesista. I found this website as I was searching for stories on IVF, and felt as though I had hit the jackpot when i came across this site. This site gives women hope that one day they too may get pregnant, even after all the hard times. I am proud to be on this site.